7 Pitfalls of Dealing with Emotional Detox Reactions

Copy of The Elimination Diet for Self-Love Deficit DisorderResolving emotional trauma can be the key step to experiencing limitless energy.

However lower emotions such as resentment, grief, sadness, and anger will surface to be released during the cleansing process.

In the West many people expect “instant healing” and believe that for something to be working there should be the immediate absence of all physical and emotional discomfort.

More often than not, this is not how real emotional or physical healing occurs.

Most of the time when we emotionally cleanse, the body goes though a type of “healing crisis” where the emotion we are hoping to clear (e.g. anxiety) will first appear to intensify and get worse rather than better.

This is very important to understand because these lower emotions will need to be felt and accepted in order to be cleansed and released.

It’s important to understand how emotional healing occurs so you can stay on the journey and heal, rather than assuming it’s not working, and giving up.

If you are in a process of deep emotional healing and the pain is intensifying, be sure you have a solid support system around you and work with a professional who can guide you through the process.

It is important during times of releasing negative emotions not to suppress or reject them, nor panic, or try to over-analyze them.

Know instead that like everything; “this too shall pass.”

7 Common Pitfalls of Emotional Detoxing

chaos-1820464_19201/ Emotional and energetic cleansing can be disorientating

Clearing emotions can feel strange and disorientating. Suddenly one day for no apparent reason, you just feel like crying all the time, or feel very angry or sad

Understand that once you start cleansing lower vibrating emotional energy, it will need to release through your body where you will feel it again.

It is the only way lower energies integrate, through a release of emotion through your body.

Critical to understand here is that there is NOTHING to do about these emotions except to breathe, feel and accept them, which will hasten the process and prevent anything getting stuck.

A big mistake is to feel these feelings, then start attaching a mental story to them, creating a “drama” and becoming upset about the emotions, or projecting the cause of them onto others in your life, or taking some unnecessary action.

Remember all emotions are just Energy – nothing more

It is key to grasp that if you truly are committed to the process of integrating and cleansing blocked emotions, be prepared that it can bring experiences into your life in order to burst bubbles of tied up lower frequency emotional energy.

Most of the time these are fears that we may have. Scary as this may sound now, some people will have the very events they are most afraid of, actually occur so they can release a huge amount of emotion that is stuck and tied up with fear. For example:

  • If you are terribly afraid of relapsing into a negative health state, it may happen so you come to realize, it really wasn’t something to be afraid of anymore, and the fear releases.
  • A relationship will end, letting you feel and release the stuck emotions of abandonment stored from childhood, if you can see that this process was releasing stuck energy for you for good, you can move on quicker to a better healthier relationship.
  • You may loose something, like a home or money, which releases stuck energy related to survival fear, and helps you realize there is always abundance available to recreate them again, you are free.
  • Failing at something such as a career or business can help you overcome the suck energy of fear of failure, so you move on even more empowered to your next venture, this is the story of so many successful entrepreneurs for example.

So as frustrating and annoying as this may seem, these events are a great gift, they are the keys to healing and lead to long term happiness!

Events which happen to release stuck emotions are really keys to unlock stuck energy that is waiting to come become available to you!

Usually unlocking these keys contain some form of physical or emotional pain you were afraid to feel again.

Beware, often when you make a choice to feel and experience something positive, the opposite may arrive temporarily in order the clear the path to getting the experience you really desire!

This path is not for the fainthearted! However every experience deepens your compassion and inner strength.

brain-2062055_19202/ Being too “Mental” and Self-Judgement

One of the most difficult and frustrating aspects of this work is coming to understand when you are simply being “mental.”

Being stuck in the analytical mind is one of the TOP reasons you will find lower emotions either won’t integrate or you just can’t seem to release them.

One way to know you are too heavily stuck in the mind is when you have a feeling of heaviness in the head, a kind of struggle, tenseness in the head, even a headache which comes about through over-thinking.

Very often, when we stop the mind from its constant chatter, this is when the unresolved emotional energies come to the surface. This is why people can often feel anxiety just before bedtime or just before waking in the morning.

The mind has stopped all its distractions and the emotional energy body is able to come into conscious awareness.

This is also why, when you start to feel into your body daily, you can feel and connect to things you did not know you were carrying before, whether that was numbness, depression, anger, grief and so on.

Another critical part of the “mental” pitfall is judgement from the inner critic part of us.

It will be strange to observe, but an easy trap is when you start to notice how much you generally don’t accept yourself and judge yourself, you will find yourself being judgmental on yourself for being judgmental!

Similarly, shame begets more shame. When we feel shame and self-loathing, it makes us feel even more ashamed!

Remember that core shame and chronic self criticism often comes from attachment trauma. 50% of all adults insecurely attach to their main caregiver in the first 1000 days of life.

Trauma in the first 1000 days of life occurs BEFORE the cognitive/thinking brain develops. As a small baby, if we do not experience unconditional love, this is experienced as abandonment.

We assume, at a deep unconscious level, that something must naturally be wrong with us if we were abandoned.

In truth, it was just a huge misunderstanding. It is not only inappropriate, but tragic when we feel shame or constant chronic self criticism.

NO baby or toddler deserves to feel core shame and defectiveness. It is your human birthright to feel unconditional self love. 

If you notice you are in core shame and feelings of defectiveness it is NOT your fault, know that this is a result of attachment trauma, and consciously choose to RELEASE the feelings. They don’t belong to you.

Nobody gave you a manual at birth on how to do it, so be like an unknowing innocent child that you should have been, open and receptive to learning a new way of being.

When you fall down and notice self-judgement and shame, be like a child learning to walk, just get up and walk again!

Self-judgement and shame tends to really come on strong when something happens we perceive we did NOT want in our reality.

So given that this cleansing process may bring events into our lives in order to release broken and stuck energies, you will get plenty of practice at not mentally judging!

It is common to think that when something we didn’t want occurs, that naturally we did something wrong, we missed something, or made a mistake, or wrongly followed someone else’s advice.

The mind says – “Hey I’m in pain, I must have done something wrong! Or someone else did something wrong! Or I AM wrong”

In fact the event, like I said in the previous point, is a key to unlocking stuck energy and a gift. Your mind is programmed to respond the way most of mass consciousness does.

Here are some more quick examples of why it is best to release the limited mind’s perspective and avoid judgment of self and others, because it’s all for a higher purpose in the end:

  • People treat you badly – core shame and low self esteem will have attracted this type of behavior from others. This event is a message that you still need to clear low emotional energy. Take this simply as information about your progress clearing childhood emotional trauma. You’re in the process or raising your standards of acceptable behavior from others
  • Someone close to us is in pain – we are learning the wisdom that this person’s experience right now could be exactly what they need to evolve their consciousness and open to greater love and well-being in their own lives. They need to resolve their own trauma, it’s not your job to absorb their pain. Clear your own trauma and be the example to them. Inspire others to heal themselves, avoid rescuing others. No need to feel guilty if you feel happy, your happiness will permit others to reach their own source of happiness. You’re learning that playing small and feeling guilty to fit around others doesn’t serve you or anyone else.
  • You have an accident and others have to look after you for a while – you are learning the art of receiving and being vulnerable enough to ask and accept love and help, and that you deserve this
  • Things the mind perceives as “bad” keep happening – eventually these events make you realize you may have been emotionally neglected and experienced abuse you are only partially conscious of. This caused a loss of power, consciousness and resourcefulness, to the point that you stopped choosing your reality at all and your life became prey to the default forces of mass consciousness. These events wake you up to choosing your reality again. It’s often called “hitting rock bottom.” It’s all for good in the end.

All of it is a gift, there are no mistakes, even if something happens that the mind traditionally perceives as “bad.” It’s never too late, never bad and never hopeless.

Expect to have your core beliefs challenged, and to sometimes feel confused, frustrated, overwhelmed and disorientated. It’s all part of emotional cleansing and integration!

anatomy-254120_12803/ Physical Detox symptoms

When you start to cleanse emotionally, you can get PHYSICAL detox symptoms too. One of the biggest issues is sleep disturbances. Waking up in the night or waking too early is normal when emotionally cleansing.

Again simply going with the flow, getting sleep where you can, not worrying or trying to fix the “sleep problem” is key here.

Emotional and energetic cleansing can cause symptoms such as:

  • Fatigue, the process of integration is tiring on the energetic body, never underestimate this
  • Feeling hyper – like your nerves are burning. Your physical vibration is literally getting higher and your body is learning to move vast amounts of energy and higher frequencies through it, it can temporarily burnout our nervous system circuits, rest and nurturing time is very important
  • Pain in various part of your body – head, neck, back etc. This is temporary and due to old stuck energy finally releasing
  • Times where the body heats up – especially at night, causing sweating, this is a physical detoxing process, nothing is more biochemically detoxing than emotional integration
  • Increasing intolerances of harsh chemicals in foods, and personal products, caffeine intolerance. These need to be avoided for a time
  • Sometimes your mind will get very busy for no reason, it’s a kind of mind-dump/detox
  • Vivid, strange and powerful dreams – it’s just detox
  • Some people will even go through a week or two of feeling fluey, vomiting or diarrhea, headaches and generally feeling unwell. This is just related to the release of old toxins stored in the body

Just knowing what to expect, and understanding these are basic side effects from emotional and energetic integration (cleansing) will help you accept them and go with the flow, without worrying or “stressing” about them, or needing to “fix” them.

Drinking plenty of water, eating a fresh unprocessed and unrefined organic diet and spending time in nature daily are all useful supports through this.

Epsom salts baths also gently cleanse both to the energetic and physical body. Sleeping earthed is helpful.

Any time you fully immerse your body in water helps to loosen and move stuck energies. Exercise and sweating from exercise is also very useful, as are saunas for releasing physical toxins.

Breathing and continuing the emotional cleanse helps detox reactions to clear faster.

girl-2153509_19204/ Feeling everything and becoming more sensitive emotionally 

Many people who cleanse energetically and emotionally initially talk about not being able to feel anything, feeling numb or too mental and so on.

Once you start to really cleanse this can transform to the opposite, you start to feel EVERYTHING and this can feel overwhelming.

Your emotional sensitivity to your own feelings and your empathy for those around you is going to increase.

You’ll become aware of many shades and level of abuse from others. You’ll start to be aware about what energy someone is throwing at you rather than just the words they are using.

Be aware this may be people we are physically interacting with, or it will be sent your way through TV adverts, computer games, movies, media social and news reports.

People who are actually trying to manipulate you will become increasingly intolerable to you, as well as people who are inauthentic or carry a lot of heavy, dense and negative energy.

Many of us who are already sensitive to emotional energies of ourselves and others did not have the inner power to protect ourselves.

Integration will increase the power of your inner authentic voice to stand up for yourself however uncomfortable this may feel in the short-term and protect yourself.

In addition, it is a normal and natural side effect to integration that you may start to experience what would be described as psychic awareness and “magical” events in your lives. Other people may call these “weird things!”

This is the natural part of our human evolutionary process and everyone, whether they know it or not will be opening to these abilities sooner or later.

As such this is not a pitfall in itself as development of these abilities is a delightful experience, however it only becomes a pitfall if we start to create expectations and make flashing lights and experiences of Samadhi as our main goal.

We don’t want to get side tracked by these aspects, love and 100% acceptance of ourselves and the world around us is the real aim.

flowers-2094167_19205/ Loss of Identity, the Void and Impatience

A critical part on emotional and energetic cleansing journey is when old parts of yourself have finally dissolved, what comes after that can feel like a loss of identity, disorientation, overwhelm, confusion, chaos, depression or emptiness.

You will not be going about your life in the old ways you used to.

Sometimes we hold on to lower emotions even when they know they are bad for us or make us miserable because we at least know them, they are familiar to us.

When we release many of them, you are going to feel the void.

It is actually a natural safe empty space inside. This space is essential for creating the new upgraded life and to let in the person you are becoming.

However it is the MIND which can interpret this void as a feeling of loneliness, emptiness or depression.

As humans many of us are so addicted to drama and the chaos of low energies that when all the noise finally goes away, we feel lost – where’s the party?!

This is especially the case when releasing the limiting emotions at the core of the achiever, enthusiast, anxiety, helper or perfectionist Enneagram types.

You can feel low self-esteem or useless, pointless even because you have seen through the craziness of the low self esteem or self-worth issues, and you are letting go of efforting in life so much, but then there is the void which arises after all the release!

Boredom is the withdrawal symptom from the addiction to chronic stress, eventually you learn to appreciate the existential peace of living in the present moment rather than misinterpreting this experience as boredom or depression.

At this time it is useful to remember to choose how you want to perceive this void. You can let it become a peaceful experience.

Also the void is a temporary state, as mentioned, while you choose to create the next wonderful experiences in your life. It can be experienced as a time of rest and receptivity and also great clarity. 

Know that if you have already made conscious choices for new creations and experiences in your life, they are coming to you, trust yourself and the cleansing and integration process.

You can also expect to feel profoundly impatient during the integration phase. It is strange that for years we can have plodded along replaying broken emotional story lines over and over again.

Or we have spent years struggling with over–efforting, planning, controlling, goal setting, taking massive action and on and on – we seem to have endless energy (or not in some cases) to carry on this way, but for some reason we suddenly feel extreme and profound impatience when you are finally stopping all the efforting and start living your life.

sunset-2103130_19206/ Loss of Family and Friends

Loss of non-supportive friends and family members can be one of the most challenging aspects of emotional and energetic cleansing because, for many years these people have come to expect you to behave in a certain way, and when you genuinely begin to change, most of the time, they wont like it!

It will bring up their insecurities and unmet needs. Expect people around you to act out of character.

Also expect that for years they may have judged and berated you for certain behaviors, and wanted you to change these aspects of yourself. As you start integrating you will start releasing these lower energetic behaviors, and then you’ll be amazed when your friends and family will infer you should also change back to the old way! You see most of them were invested in you staying the same as you were – so they will be giving you mixed messages: Change! Change Back – Change! Change Back!

Conflict may arise, be prepared for this.

rose-2087087_19207/ Doubt/loss of trust in the cleansing process and YOU

So your life is going to change! It makes me laugh that so many of us want to feel better and get better things in our lives, yet we also don’t want anything to change!

If you are serious about resolving core emotional trauma, a total transformation can occur where all people, things and situations that no longer serve you, that no longer reflect the highest potential of who and what you are and what you are here to experience, leave your life.

So just as we want to experience losing an illness we don’t want, loss of destructive patterns and so on, this cleansing process can also include:

  • Loss of non-supportive friends and family members from your life
  • New careers and job changes
  • Change in geographical location of your home
  • Release of unnecessary items we were holding onto e.g. clutter at home
  • Loss of interest in old hobbies or passions
  • Loss of daily routines and structure

As humans we can be incredibly stubborn sometimes, and we will fight, deny and be angry about releasing things and changing, even though part of us knows it’s what is needed for us to be happier and achieve our heart’s desires!

You may be tested to your extreme because there are so few humans who love change, we are programmed to resist it by mass consciousness!

Learn to love change, accept it and breathe it in!

In addition, and as I touched on this in some of the points above, emotional integration may involve you facing and releasing some of your worst fears and emotions and feeling a loss of identity as well as accepting change into your life.

I believe this integration process can be the most challenging thing a human can go through!

There are times when you will just have to accept that sometimes unlocking all the keys to stuck energy is going to feel like a marathon.

This can easily cause you to doubt the entire process and whether you are really emotionally cleansing or not.

Emotional integration is a very strange process sometimes when as mentioned before you can FEEL more than you ever felt before, and yet as your awareness and connection to yourself increases, you also realize, none of it really matters either. This is the strangeness of the emotional purification.

One side effect of raising your vibration is you become less uptight and gain a sense of humor as you observe and actually start to laugh at the quandaries of your human life.

Eventually it is possible to see the energetic integration process as a playful treasure hunt where you are unlocking keys to limitless energy.

So,  it’s ok, it really is all going to work out!

Related Articles

Get Your ACE Score

How Emotional Trauma in Childhood Affects Health Across a Lifetime

How to Heal Emotional Trauma and Build Resilience Part 1

“Silent ACEs:” The Epidemic of Attachment and Developmental Trauma

How to Deal with Energy Vampires and Detox Your Relationships

How to Deal with Cultural Energy Vampires

 

 

 

 

This article belongs to The Abundant Energy Expert ! The original article can be found here: 7 Pitfalls of Dealing with Emotional Detox Reactions

The Abundant Energy Expert © 2018 - All Rights Reserved

50 Comments on 7 Pitfalls of Dealing with Emotional Detox Reactions

  1. Lacy
    January 23, 2016 at 5:02 pm (2 years ago)

    Thank you-just the message I needed to hear today. Namaste❤️

  2. Jenny
    January 26, 2016 at 3:09 am (2 years ago)

    A great read!

  3. dee
    September 18, 2016 at 11:39 am (2 years ago)

    Thank you!

  4. Michelle
    November 30, 2016 at 2:57 am (1 year ago)

    Absolutely wonderful! Exactly what I needed, thank you.

  5. TLCK
    January 6, 2017 at 4:35 pm (1 year ago)

    Thank you so much! This really helped validate what I was feeling. I am experiencing so much emotional discomfort in my body and am at the point of a meltdown because I just want reprieve. I am healing from an abusive childhood and walking away from an unhealthy relationship as well as cutting off contact from my dysfunctional parents and friends. I have no-one in my life causing my pain now and so sitting in my own discomfort is extremely challenging. I am just trying to trust the process and not over analyze what I am feeling.

  6. Niki
    January 17, 2017 at 8:52 pm (1 year ago)

    Keep up the good work – I admire your courage! Niki

  7. AJ
    February 23, 2017 at 10:00 pm (1 year ago)

    This is a wonderful reminder to have patience with yourself when letting go of your long held pain. I’m glad to have found this and been able to use it as a gentle reassurance that staying on my path to healing is what my soul deserves along with my love.
    –Love & light to you for helping others raise their frequency–

  8. Dd
    March 10, 2017 at 5:51 pm (1 year ago)

    The best article I have ever read!!! Very useful and it explains a lot of what is happening in my life during a cleanse which I started oblý severan days ago… being tired, impatient, even envious.. experiencing one of those “weird” things and having fight with my family member because they do not want me to continue sa I am changing…. I was really considering of quitting the cleanse today but after reading of your article I know that these feelings and experiences are normal and I need to go through this:-)

    Many thanks!

  9. Niki
    March 10, 2017 at 5:58 pm (1 year ago)

    Great – glad it was helpful! Niki

  10. Carla
    March 19, 2017 at 6:16 pm (1 year ago)

    Thank you for this amazing article. I am in the process of doing a 4 month detox and am overwhelmed for the first time with the emotional side of things. This really resonated with me. Thank-you!

  11. Niki
    March 19, 2017 at 8:44 pm (1 year ago)

    Great Carla, glad it was helpful. Keep up the good work, and, good luck!

  12. Shasha
    March 26, 2017 at 8:24 pm (1 year ago)

    Codependents maybe Celiac. No gluten/dairy/soy/sugar/GMO…taking vitamins/good oils/minerals…probiotic…LDN..detoxing may help. Vit B12 methylcobalamin with intrinsic factor and 5000IU Vit D3/Zn/Mg/fish oil/Amour thyroid and more may help the brain/body/personality. Fix the Celiac and then a person can learn to be in the world better.

  13. Niki
    March 26, 2017 at 8:39 pm (1 year ago)

    Hi Shasha – yes, thank you. Celiac and other metabolic issues such as having polymorphism 5HTTLPR SNP or pyroluria can affect someone psychologically as well. It’s a by-directional relationship and I will be writing about this soon. Thanks again, Niki

  14. Marianne
    April 5, 2017 at 3:39 pm (1 year ago)

    This is a fabulous piece.

  15. Dina
    April 24, 2017 at 8:16 pm (12 months ago)

    To Niki, my hero, this, as so many of your other articles is simply invaluable. When are you writing your book!?

  16. Niki
    April 24, 2017 at 9:35 pm (12 months ago)

    Thank you Dina – the book’s in the works! 🙂

  17. Celso B
    July 27, 2017 at 5:38 pm (9 months ago)

    What beauty in this essay. I’ve come to a point where I’ve been questioning the importance of my inner work, or get caught up intellectualizing and “solving” every feeling, I’ve learned that feelings need to be felt and accepted. As do I also need to accept my self.
    A question I still ask is: what binds us to these stuck energies? Is it that we are bound to the energetic body as we are the physical? And there’s no escaping it, they need be dealt with? Why is it that we cannot simply transcend this through intellectual understanding or ignorance? In other words, why can’t we simply ignore our stuck energies, what is it about them that impacts our Physical, spiritual, and emotional lives so?

    Om
    Again, a beautiful post.

    Celso F Borges

  18. Niki
    July 27, 2017 at 7:16 pm (9 months ago)

    Thank you! Good questions, you know emotions aren’t just nothing – they are actually partly electromagnetic, they have “charge” which is why they get “stuck” to us, or attract events, people and situations to us as well. They are also the source of chronic additions. If we can’t release emotional pain, we numb it out with addictive behaviors. Interestingly, 30 years of research by Heartmath shows they can look at someone’s Heart Rate Variability patterns and with 75% accuracy, predict how someone is feeling. This charge is intimately related to the nervous system which obviously runs on electricity too. Dr Peter Levine (trauma expert) always sites how animals naturally release fear and trauma through “shaking” – this video demonstrates a polar bear releasing the “charge” of fear as it is waking up after a traumatic experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT4060GeodI. So emotions are energy and knowing them in ourselves and others/ navigating them requires its own type of intelligence EQ – “emotional intelligence” as Daniel Goleman has written :-).

  19. Melissa
    July 31, 2017 at 2:30 pm (9 months ago)

    Thank you for writing this. I’m going through this now and it helps to keep my mind on track as to what is what.

  20. Judith
    August 20, 2017 at 8:45 am (8 months ago)

    I am so pleased I found this. Very comforting. I am in a period of intense therapy and spiritual practise. Chilhood traumas releasing fro my body- mind trying to make sense of it-mentally “what have I done wrong this time”. Then when I switch off the mind my body transforms and it’s all ok. Just go with it. Your article SO helpful. Big thanks. Sending you metta.

  21. Niki
    August 20, 2017 at 4:49 pm (8 months ago)

    Thank you – glad it was helpful!!

  22. Sabrina
    September 18, 2017 at 3:12 am (7 months ago)

    Thank you for this insightful piece! I am currently going through cleansing but something is happening to me. While i cleanse, i feel and i am attracting raping energies or people who desire me sexually and such. I feel completely raped by two people in particular, one is my mother, which is very toxic and only wants to use me, and a coworker, which i guess since i have my mother’s energy, i am attracting his sexual desires towards me in a negative way? I am feeling very bad at all of this, to the point that today i had two crying fits. Also, i feel as if my mother is sending me so much anger and rage because i am not acting like she wants me to, and that throws me off most times, as i am very sensitive. Is there something i can do about these? Specially about feeling energetically raped.

  23. Niki
    September 18, 2017 at 3:24 pm (7 months ago)

    Hi Sabrina, so it sounds like you may have identified a couple of “energy vampires” but please understand you are fully in charge of your own energy, and can energetically and physically say “no” and protect yourself. Imagine a strong protective bubble of light around your entire body, practice this daily and intend for it to protect you. You might also want to read the energy vampires article I wrote here: https://www.nikigratrix.com/how-to-clean-up-toxic-relationships-and-avoid-energy-vampires/

  24. Testo Boost Rx
    October 20, 2017 at 9:23 am (6 months ago)

    Just wanna tell that this is very helpful, Thanks for taking your time
    to write this.

  25. Niki
    October 20, 2017 at 5:17 pm (6 months ago)

    Thank you glad it is helpful!

  26. Ntokozo
    October 20, 2017 at 6:22 pm (6 months ago)

    Thank you so much for this article. I’ve been immersed in spiritually charged reading and thought which has helped me navigate this dark night of the soul but your article is so refreshingly relateable, practical and reassuring. I was going to give up on this journey for a bit until I read this. Blessings to you from South Africa.

  27. Niki
    October 20, 2017 at 6:33 pm (6 months ago)

    Awesome – so glad this helped!

  28. Aurora
    October 24, 2017 at 7:27 pm (6 months ago)

    Thank you! I have finally been addressing 30+ years of trauma and thought I was doing something wrong because of how I felt. Now I know everything is going RIGHT and an emotional weight has been lifted from me. Thank you so much.

  29. Austin
    January 18, 2018 at 1:00 am (3 months ago)

    I did TRE, Trauma Release Exercises the other day. About a week ago. I guess you’re supposed to start with 3, 15 minute sessions a week and I did 3, 30 minute sessions over two days. I’m having panic attacks, and my body feel like it’s vibrating. I can see my hands shaking a little, too. Is this normal? I don’t know if the anxiety is caused by being scared of my shaking hands, or if it’s emotions coming back or both lol. Trying not to freak out. Any input would be awesome.

  30. Niki
    January 18, 2018 at 6:35 pm (3 months ago)

    Hi Austen – I’m not an expert in TRE, but it does sound like you may be having an emotional release – you’d be best checking in with a practitioner who is trained in TRE to know for sure. To help keep releasing the anxiety go for a walk in nature, full body immersion in water can help, and deep yogic release breaths are one of the best ways I know to release acute anxiety. Lion’s breath and horse breath – try googling it! Good luck.

  31. Brenda
    January 27, 2018 at 3:36 am (3 months ago)

    This was amazing to read. I have read so much over the years about emotional trauma, but nothing ever this spot on about my feelings over the years. I can relate so much to everything you’ve said.

    About a year ago after an intense therapy session where some of my childhood abuse issues were discussed, I went home that day and felt violently sick. I was in bed shaking for three days and couldn’t stop vomiting. I could even care for my children. I had to have my husband leave work to help me. It was really bad, I felt like a drug addict who was going through drug withdrawals. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I have always wondered if that was my body reacting to the emotional trauma I was releasing from the therapy session. Sadly I never went back to therapy after that, but I’ve always wanted to ask the therapist about the reaction I had.

  32. Niki
    January 27, 2018 at 6:45 pm (3 months ago)

    Hi Brenda, yes this definitely sounds like the therapy session moved old energy and emotion in your body, emotional cleansing can often cause physical clearance of toxins as well, which in turn usually end up dumped in the gut – so an upset stomach often ensues. Sounds like it was a very effective therapy session – I hope it was anyway! Thanks for sharing.

  33. Bernadette
    January 31, 2018 at 4:30 pm (3 months ago)

    This is a really well written article. I googled, “the emotional body and nausea” and your article came up. I was at my counselors office on Friday and as usual different emotions came up and I cried. I came home and about 2 hours later started to feel nauseous and had diarrhea,it lasted for 2 days but 6 days later I’m still feeling nauseous. I made the connection right away as I have been doing work on myself for years but am surprised how long it has lasted. Thanks for this insightful column.

  34. Niki
    February 1, 2018 at 8:50 pm (3 months ago)

    Dear Niki,

    I had to write to thank you so very much from my heart for this article. This post is three years old, and for me right on time! And also timeless, essential information for those of use who have embarked upon our healing/ascension journeys. In reading this (3x) I feel it was written just for me!

    I’m grateful to you and your guidance system for writing this because it’s so easy to forget all of your carefully laid out points. Truth has a way of speaking closely to the soul, and in my last 13+ years on this wild and confusing process, I’ve had to fight to get to where I am now- which I arrived to only after giving up the fight. Accepting emotions, processes, divine timing, learning to trust my own souls song, accepting the loss of close loved ones in all of this- so wonderful to have all of this confirmed.

    It’s funny how things come at the right time. For all of my purging and detoxing over years, I’m not sure I’ve ever read anything so succinct that hits home the way your piece does.

    Many thanks,
    AM

  35. CMVZ
    February 2, 2018 at 2:15 pm (3 months ago)

    This article goes to show that you are truly a loving person because at no point did you mince words or become cryptic to make anyone have to scuffle through more confusion. This is how I try to be with others around me but sometimes they get angry about it. I have been “detoxing ” as well, and for me, the hardest thing is letting go of the toxic energies that are so close to my life. I wonder if there is a way I can still have these people in my life but continue to heal or if I am destined to completely separate myself from them. It’s just that right now, it is so complicated.

    But, this article really helped me to understand why I get so angry after a “detox” session but then by the next day I can actually feel those beautiful familiar positive energies that have always been with me; rescuing me from the darkest of times. I thank God that you are here to help guide us.

  36. Niki
    February 3, 2018 at 6:04 pm (3 months ago)

    Glad this was helpful for you! 🙂

  37. Marc
    February 12, 2018 at 4:07 pm (2 months ago)

    Hi Niki

    I am on my 7th day of the wild rose detox cleanse… On day 4 I started to have some very strange thoughts that lead to fear and anxiety… I am not an emotional person but have a lot of emotions that I have built up and held onto from a rough childhood, where I was forced to keep it together…

    I thought I was having a mental breakdown over the last few days and had no idea what to do or how to cope with it, I kept telling myself that it was my mind playing tricks on me and that it would pass, but I definitely was putting a lot of judgement on myself for all of the flaws that I have…

    Anyways, I have been struggling for the last 72 hours but after reading this article I am so happy to know that it is the detox that is causing all of these weird thoughts and my mind to keep racing with fear and anxiety… I was going to give up the detox, but I have 3 more days left and think I will continue…

    Thank you so much for the info, I really felt like I had unlocked a mental illness that would never go away, but I realize now that it is just the toxins releasing and I need to let them melt off… I am so happy that I read your article and instantly feel the best I have in 72 hours…

    Does all of this make sense to you / feel like I am on the right track?

    Thanks again! 🙂

  38. Niki
    February 12, 2018 at 8:01 pm (2 months ago)

    Hi Marc – yes it certainly sounds like you went through an emotional detox, and are coming out the other side! Congratulations 🙂

  39. Lisa
    February 20, 2018 at 5:22 pm (2 months ago)

    Exactly what I needed today. Thank you.

  40. Nalini Singh
    April 1, 2018 at 4:42 am (3 weeks ago)

    Niki, wow, what a beautiful piece of writing, and hits so close to home! You captured my experience of life perfectly.

    One thing I’m curious about (perhaps you have some other articles on this?) is how to communicate to people when we are in the middle of this crazy wild journey…it’s so easy to feel hypersensitive to everything people say and do, to read judgment or shame or criticism or demand into even the most benign and genuine of comments or actions, and to react intensely.

    On the one hand, I’ve found going into a meditative state and really being fully present with all my dark feelings and allow myself to ‘feel the feelings’ has been great, really nourishing. Gives me a chance to become fully present to myself and stop relying on other people to meet my needs all the time, allows me to develop my ‘inner mothering’ capacity rather than always asking others to ‘save’ me.

    On the other, I just don’t know right now when to tell someone that what they did or said hurt me (even if it was just a little thing) and when to just keep quiet about it and deal with it in my room on my cushion / doing bodywork etc. If I tell them what’s up, they may (a) get a chance to connect with me deeper and give me empathy and create connection between us, also healing or (b) feel shame or hurt that I got so upset over something small (perhaps that reminded me of an ACE)…which would defeat the purpose of me naming what happened and harm our connection, potentially making things worse for me as I lose a friend / important person.

    I’ve generally found that telling people what hurts has been more hurtful than helpful. My feelings don’t make sense right now, nor my stories/thoughts, and when I tell them, I really just need them to listen and be there rather than do anything (and I certainly don’t want *them* to then feel bad for making me feel bad!).

    So how do we communicate from the heart when going through this?

    How do we reach out in a way that ‘expands the possibilities of life’ between us rather than closing them down because of our vulnerabilities and sensitivities?

    Thoughts?

    Much love, and thank you once again!!

  41. Niki
    April 1, 2018 at 5:02 pm (3 weeks ago)

    Hi Nalini, thank you for the comment. This is a very personal journey you are going through, and this time of heightened sensitivity can be used for greatly increasing personal clarity into your own wounds, feelings, needs and desires. Other people, unless they are going through the same process, are unlikely to get it in my experience. People are often unaware that they are unaware, and send out energy/do things they have no clue about! I tend to use times when I’m triggered by others either to see if this is a wound I need to heal from childhood – (it usually is) and then I assess how much time and energy I want to spend with the other person. So I’d check into the feeling of “hurt” is it feeling ignored, rejected, abandoned or misunderstood? When did you first feel that feeling – at what point in childhood? This is a sign it’s your wound. Then you can nurture and heal that by remembering you aren’t a child anymore, you’re the powerful adult with a choice about how to respond. Ironically once you heal it, if the other person was abusive they tend to disappear from your life, or you’ll decide to spend less time with them and focus on other people who you can really “expand the possibilities of life” with…hope that helps! Niki

  42. Nalini Singh
    April 2, 2018 at 2:58 am (3 weeks ago)

    Wow, thank you so much once again! Great soul-nourishment and food for thought.

    Do you think it’s ever possible to fully, 100% ‘heal’ a wound or do we just shift our relationship with it?

    E.g. if friends respond to my story with something that doesn’t feel like empathy, perhaps initially I would feel hurt or shame…and ‘healing’ the wound might mean no longer feeling that hurt or shame, whereas ‘shifting how I relate’ would mean making friends with the feelings of hurt and shame and treating them with compassion and kindness whenever they arise (and they will, over and over). So then perhaps the initial pain wouldn’t be so amplified or unbearable, because it’s held in love (/held in inner mother energy).

    And on that same note, if just about all intense reactions could trace their origins in childhood wounding, then why would we communicate our pain/hurt/triggers to friends or loved ones at all?

    My inner dialogue:

    INNER CHILD: “Ahhh! What she did was really painful, I hate feeling so powerless and ashamed.”
    INNER JUDGE: “This is your shit to deal with, don’t take it out on her, quit complaining.”
    FEAR: “What if it happens again and I am not in a space to deal with it?”
    INNER PUNISHER: “It’s your fault for being vulnerable and letting yourself get hurt.”
    INNER DOUBT: “But maybe if I told her what was going on for me, she could connect with me better and we could be better friends? After all, I know she doesn’t *mean* to hurt me, it’s just how she expresses herself and she really does care.”
    PANIC: “Hide! Run away! This is too hard! This doesn’t make sense! This is confusing!”
    EMPOWERER: “Hang on, maybe I just need to sit with it for a second and feel it out, then things will look different and the trigger won’t be a trigger anymore.”
    INNER CHILD: “But this is *painful*!!! I don’t *want* to feel my feelings!”
    SHAME: “So you think you’re empathetic, huh? Can’t even sit and feel the feelings!”
    SHAME: “So you think you’re a good communicator eh? Why can’t you be kind to yourself and her and just say it? Wouldn’t that be more honest?”

    … etc

    I wonder if we can ever really change how we ‘choose to respond’ as you put it. E.g.

    1. Something happens that triggers me.
    2. I feel anger. (automatic response, bypasses thinking brain)
    3. I feel shame or frustration about feeling angry. (I don’t want to feel it / it’s “not okay to feel this.”) –> tensing muscles.
    4. So I pretend to be nice, or distract myself to avoid feeling it.

    versus:

    1. Something happens that triggers me.
    2. I feel anger.
    3. I relax into my total experience of anger; soften into its hardness, look at it kindly and compassionately, allow it to just ‘be’ just as it is. (“It’s totally okay to feel this.”)
    4. I act from that softer, relaxed place.

    So the primary reaction (anger) didn’t change but the secondary one did, as did my tertiary (action) response to it.

    I greatly appreciated your reminder that other people are ‘unlikely to get it’ and thought I’d pass on Rilke’s poetry on this that also harks to this:

    “Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.”

    Much love and huge thanks again!

    Nalini

  43. Niki
    April 2, 2018 at 8:22 pm (3 weeks ago)

    Hi Nalini – thank you for posting that wonderful excerpt from Rilke. I think that yes, eventually we can heal hurts completely, but the first step is “reparenting” ourselves. So the trigger will happen – i.e. anger, then, as you have said, it’s how we react to the anger – we can hate, it, judge it, shame it – but the idea is to learn self love and acceptance of our own reactions first. The attitude of the calming nurturing parent towards the triggered wounded child will eventually make the child feel safe enough not to even react with anger. And yes I think that a huge amount of our reactions are from the wounded inner child, the deeper you go with this, the less time we spend focusing on the other person, most of it can be healed within. Also unless the other person is doing this kind of self awareness and healing work, “talking” with them about it often isn’t very fruitful (often people aren’t even connected to their own feelings – not knowing they are angry, jealous, being insecure etc)…The limit on this is when another person is chronically abusive, then it’s time to move on from that person obviously – but still we’d need to do the inner healing work 🙂 Niki

  44. Dina
    April 2, 2018 at 9:40 pm (3 weeks ago)

    Very good. let me ask…some of us were chronically abused as children. We did not have the luxury of “moving on” from our abuser if it was a parent. I did move on, but by the time I was 18 the damage had been done. So, when we grow up, we do not have the experience of knowing how to move on from our abusers. We have become an expert at just taking it and praying it will end some day on its own.

  45. Niki
    April 2, 2018 at 10:43 pm (3 weeks ago)

    Hi Dina! Yes in these cases, this is often where “learned helplessness” occurs. So the child, as you say, cannot get away, and instead kind of freezes. As an adult, we want to unlearn this freeze response to triggers. This comes from 1/ recognizing we might be having a trigger in the present as an adult that is causing a freeze response – which we learned from childhood. 2/ We want to orient and ground ourselves in the present moment – we remind ourselves, we’re no longer a child, we’re now an adult in different circumstances 3/ We can then acknowledge we have the power of choice in the current present moment as an adult. This takes practice, but once again, it’s the core part of reparenting for trauma recovery.

  46. Dina
    April 2, 2018 at 11:30 pm (3 weeks ago)

    Excellent, Niki, thank you! Indeed, it takes practice, I am only now realising I have choicees as an adult. I need to work on my time lag. Very hard to do as the abuse is happening! I’ll keep working on it.

  47. Niki
    April 4, 2018 at 3:01 pm (2 weeks ago)

    Hi Dina – just in response to this, yes if someone is being physically abusive, you need to get help to get away from that person as soon as you can. If it’s mainly verbal and emotional abuse, there’s Ross Rosenberg’s most watched Youtube video on how to deal with narcissistic people when they are still in your environment – it’s called the “Observe don’t Absorb” technique and I recommend watching it on his Youtube channel. If this is the type of abuse you are dealing with, I also recommend reading or watching him speak about “narcissistic” injury and the potential risks and perils that can occur on leaving someone like this and it can take some preparation! Good luck!

  48. Hanna
    April 18, 2018 at 10:45 am (2 days ago)

    Hi,

    I have been crying, feeling low and unmotivated and achey physically after I had a kinesiology session yesterday – we did some emotional work. I`m very grateful to read this, it`s very reassuring. Thanks Nikki

  49. Niki
    April 18, 2018 at 8:00 pm (2 days ago)

    Hi Hanna – wonderful, glad this was helpful. All the best, Niki

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